A Green Pill on my Window Sill (A Triolet)

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Tabitha R. Pike on January 10, 2012 at 2:39pm

Wow, what can I say. Did it eat that green pill? This is a great interesting write. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Cleveland W. Gibson on January 11, 2012 at 11:48am

8 lines of poem . In those lines dwells a story. This is flash mystery poetry. How about that. I like it. How to make it better before you submit? What about messaging me line one. I can read but if you agree about editing your sending me line 1 is confirmation.

The benefits: I know where you might send your poem when it is finished. And it will be a hard copy.Interested? I hope you are because I'm not a legal member of the RRS or fronting for Charles Dickens. But it's his birthday soon. On the 7th Feb in fact according to 'What the Dickens.Magazine.'

Best

Cleveland

Attachments:

• 1182180847, 52 KB

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Birgitta Abimbola Heikka on January 11, 2012 at 7:42pm

Hi,

I am glad that you like it. Here is line 1 but I would still like it to be a Triolet (they alwayshave 8 lines).

One early bright sunny day.

What does RRS stand for (Ms. Clueless).  I think I read somewhere about Dicken's birthday coming up.

 

Cheers,

Abimbola

Cleveland W. Gibson said:

8 lines of poem . In those lines dwells a story. This is flash mystery poetry. How about that. I like it. How to make it better before you submit? What about messaging me line one. I can read but if you agree about editing your sending me line 1 is confirmation.

The benefits: I know where you might send your poem when it is finished. And it will be a hard copy.Interested? I hope you are because I'm not a legal member of the RRS or fronting for Charles Dickens. But it's his birthday soon. On the 7th Feb in fact according to 'What the Dickens.Magazine.'

Best

Cleveland

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Cleveland W. Gibson on January 16, 2012 at 3:31am

Line 1:

Early bright one sunny day,

The RRS is the Real Re-enactment Society.

Dickens has a birthday on 7th Feb

Best

Cleveland

Attachments:

• P1000361.jpg, 111 KB

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Del Huntsman on January 19, 2012 at 1:39am

That does stir the imagination; and raises certain questions:

Pray, why the bird upon the sill

on such a bright and sunny day

laying prone beside the pill

where once was two that sunny day

now upon its side it lay

Its breast be still, its soul away

how sad to see it laying still

upon that bright and sunny day

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Birgitta Abimbola Heikka on January 19, 2012 at 8:01pm

That is beautiful, Del.  I guess you have your own Triolet.  I love it.  It does stir the imagination but I can't answer the questions.

Del Huntsman said:

That does stir the imagination; and raises certain questions:

Pray, why the bird upon the sill

on such a bright and sunny day

laying prone beside the pill

where once was two that sunny day

now upon its side it lay

Its breast be still, its soul away

how sad to see it laying still

upon that bright and sunny day

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Del Huntsman on January 19, 2012 at 11:37pm

It was fun Birgitta. My first Triolet; you're a good teacher. I still think there was two pills on that sill before the bird showed up..."Early bright that sunny day".

• ▶ Reply

▶ Reply to Discussion