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A Green Pill on my Window Sill (A Triolet)
On an early bright sunny day
A green pill sat on my window sill
A dead bird by its side lay
One early bright sunny day
A noxious sight under a glorious ray
“A frightful spectre,” I say
That early bright sunny day
To behold on my window sill.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Tabitha R. Pike on
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Wow, what can I say. Did it eat that green pill? This is a great interesting write. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
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Permalink Reply by Cleveland W. Gibson on
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8 lines of poem . In those lines dwells a story. This is flash mystery poetry. How about that. I like it. How to make it better before you submit? What about messaging me line one. I can read but if you agree about editing your sending me line 1 is confirmation.
The benefits: I know where you might send your poem when it is finished. And it will be a hard copy.Interested? I hope you are because I'm not a legal member of the RRS or fronting for Charles Dickens. But it's his birthday soon. On the 7th Feb in fact according to 'What the Dickens.Magazine.'
Best
Cleveland
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1182180847, 52 KB
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Permalink Reply by Birgitta Abimbola Heikka on
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Hi,
I am glad that you like it. Here is line 1 but I would still like it to be a Triolet (they alwayshave 8 lines).
One early bright sunny day.
What does RRS stand for (Ms. Clueless). I think I read somewhere about Dicken's birthday coming up.
Cheers,
Abimbola
Cleveland W. Gibson said:8 lines of poem . In those lines dwells a story. This is flash mystery poetry. How about that. I like it. How to make it better before you submit? What about messaging me line one. I can read but if you agree about editing your sending me line 1 is confirmation.
The benefits: I know where you might send your poem when it is finished. And it will be a hard copy.Interested? I hope you are because I'm not a legal member of the RRS or fronting for Charles Dickens. But it's his birthday soon. On the 7th Feb in fact according to 'What the Dickens.Magazine.'
Best
Cleveland
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Line 1:
Early bright one sunny day,
The RRS is the Real Re-enactment Society.
Dickens has a birthday on 7th Feb
Best
Cleveland
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P1000361.jpg, 111 KB
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Permalink Reply by Del Huntsman on
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That does stir the imagination; and raises certain questions:
Pray, why the bird upon the sill
on such a bright and sunny day
laying prone beside the pill
where once was two that sunny day
now upon its side it lay
Its breast be still, its soul away
how sad to see it laying still
upon that bright and sunny day
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That is beautiful, Del. I guess you have your own Triolet. I love it. It does stir the imagination but I can't answer the questions.
Del Huntsman said:That does stir the imagination; and raises certain questions:
Pray, why the bird upon the sill
on such a bright and sunny day
laying prone beside the pill
where once was two that sunny day
now upon its side it lay
Its breast be still, its soul away
how sad to see it laying still
upon that bright and sunny day
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It was fun Birgitta. My first Triolet; you're a good teacher. I still think there was two pills on that sill before the bird showed up..."Early bright that sunny day".
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