My Synthesis Of Vaguely Related Parts

Written By: Marshall Lawe

PART ONE

I wonder how many people can truthfully say they’ve never said “Today I’m starting over?” Well, I’d like to think that this day is a restart for me, but then I’ve restarted many times before. And I’ve lived chaotically – but not unlawfully. Thus, I remain on the outside of all prisons today, except of course for those symbolic ones, created for me by myself and others. And isn’t it usually true that such others as deem themselves “normal” often seek to recast all whom they consider to be in non-conformance, so that those non-conformers might then be “normal” also?
But today I’ve got what might be termed a three part story or, perhaps a three part disclosure would be a more apt title. And it comes to you established within the boundaries of talent both possessed and lacking by a (I believe at least) sadly misnamed literary wannabe. But I still have some freedoms left. The left hasn’t been able to confiscate all of them as of yet. And thus, I’ll proceed. But these are only random thoughts and realizations generated by miscellaneous events.
A few years ago, while Covid was raging, I asked someone whom I respect greatly what he thought would happen should ever the facilitators who facilitate a smooth transition of every present second into the past, become tired, wearied, or ill. And he replied “A catastrophic occurrence would then occur. Mankind would then be forced to exist in two time frames simultaneously, until such TIME as the situation could be rectified.”
“Lucky for us we have strong, capable, and intelligent leadership in the U.S. today” I replied. “And by God, they make sure we know about how great they are too! ‘Right - man, oh no, I mean left - man! And God save the queen!’”
A few days ago, as I was walking by the airplane, I saw an assemblage gathering there. So I walked over and joined it. And as I was finding a place to stand amongst the onlookers there, I saw an elderly man stumbling his way up the plane’s entrance steps. Finally, as he reached the top of the special stairway utilized by that particular plane, he turned around, waved at the small group of us who were below him, and disappeared into the flying machine. But then suddenly a new man appeared at the top of the steps. He’d left the plane. He walked down the same steps the elderly man had just climbed, and when he reached the ground, some people who called themselves secret servicers asked him what his name was. “My name is Order” he answered. “And I’ve come to restore societal order. But remember, personal order must be your own personal goal. And it lies within your grasp only, it’s outside the reach of detractors.”
And that particular incident then made me, as many incidents do, reflect back upon what possible reason or reasons my parents may have had to give me the first name of Marshall when my last name was Lawe. And yes, that question has troubled me over the years. And many have been the instances I’ve found myself wondering; searching amidst the very real happenings of daily life, hoping to find some sense of systematization in a world of apparent chaos. And whenever I’ve asked my parents why they named me as they did, they’ve always answered “We felt like naming you that at that time.”
And maybe that’s why that often, in what I suppose are reflective moods, I find it necessary to admit that all sounds that bounce away from us down the hall, will hit the ending wall, and then reverberate back toward us again. And then we’ll know if we can stand amidst them. Yet, perhaps we’ll need to adjust our sunglasses, say some words which make no sense, and then disappear into either an airplane or a hedgerow, or indeed off someone’s worldwide stage. But as we leave, we’ll need to remember to say “God save the queen man.”
But, despite whatever we’ll need to do, or whatever others have felt they needed to do, no one can deny that one day a new man appeared. And he appeared to be orderly. And he said “Yesterday, in the world as it was before most of us entered it, offspring often fought with elders. But elders often refused to desist from treading along dangerous pathways; and they often said ‘We’re not alone when it comes to making mistakes.’”
But was, and is mankind too tolerant of past and current wrongdoing? Some say
“Most likely no” others say “Definitely yes.” Oh, but those people in the hall, have they become entangled amongst various ways of life? And do they, or do they not want society to take care of all its children? And is that a dreadfully vicious circular argument? If some are required to spend too much of their own wealth for others, will others then eventually need to spend for them? That’s one of your, my, and mankind’s great dilemmas.
But I’ve grown tired of hearing about people’s siblings seeking shelter in the streets. Maybe it’s time now to talk about the childishness being exhibited by many of the street brothers and sisters. I know it’s controversial to comment negatively while seeking out sun rays; one might get burned!
And always remember, private defenders (meaning not lawyers, but simply those who care about themselves only) are looking out for themselves only. Nonetheless, they do understand that lawbreakers, who knew enough to break society’s laws, but yet who then couldn’t afford legal representation in their attempt to sidestep punishment, will be supplied with public defenders (meaning lawyers).
And now the time has come for you to ask yourself if you sympathize with the killers who roam American schools, or with the gunmen who mass murder innocents on American streets and inside American buildings. And do you have compassion for those who drive their automobiles into large groups of people? And what about those who brutally knife to death people who thought they were their friends? Insert your own cynical and perhaps satirical comments now. But you won’t change the fate of those who were murdered.
And why is it that so much of American life seems to be in decline? Some people apparently don’t know to which sex they belong. And at home, and in foreign lands the borders of nations are routinely violated. Domestically foreigners cross a river and then impose themselves on a nation’s true citizenry, while internationally lands with huge wealth and territory continue to murder citizens of their much weaker neighbors – to say nothing of the destruction of property they’re also causing there. Oh, but some of us are oblivious to the plights of mankind. We can’t see beyond our sunglasses.

PART TWO

In Part Two of this discussion I’d like to speak to a few ongoing phenomena which have troubled me for many years. As a champion of individualism, I’m greatly concerned about the “group over self” mentality which seems to be gathering acceptance. I want each person to care about, and take care of him or herself first, before he or she supposedly tries to aid others.
And the loss of individuality constricts me. But somehow, ironically I suppose, it places me in quiet and lonely chambers. And as I exist in those chambers, I come to know the scarcity of reflective moments during which one might be able to visualize particular corridors of life down which one will need to tread before one’s final judgement is imposed.
But on such days as this, this is my goal – to find a beginning I can satisfactorily blend with a worthwhile conclusion. In other words, I need to find a synthesis in the chambers. And I need to follow only such corridors as will guide me to unopened doors behind which secret answers may lie.
But I’m not looking for more codes of restriction. I’ve been subjected to far too many of them already. And I don’t want to be bent and shaped by truth benders. Oh, and just because someone has been charged criminally for crimes many believe were perpetrated by others, doesn’t mean that person is automatically at fault for pointing out the misdeeds of others. But yet, here’s the problem:  Who’s to say if the accused or the accusers are right or wrong? Who knows if elections were conducted honestly or not, and who knows if plagues were intentionally started, or began as unfortunate occurrences?

PART THREE

I’m glad you told me about what befell you that summer day long ago. Now I can tell it to others. You and its driver were the only passengers in that truck that day. Suddenly the driver pulled off a modestly busy highway because he said he’d spotted something lying in the ditch. It turned out to be an old sales catalog which, in those days, were still sent to various people via the postal system. “Why in the hell would you stop for an old catalog?” you asked.
“Sometimes those things have pictures of women with not much clothes on” he told you as he re-entered the truck, and handed the “great find” to you for your perusal. But then, if somehow out of the clear blue, he launched into a somewhat philosophical discourse! “I believe that only one person ever lived without ever having committed any wrong” he said. “And only he ever really and truly cared about those whom society deems as helpless, hopeless, homeless, or destitute. And therefore, to all who have sinned I say ‘Watch first for salvation, lest you spend eternity with your nemesis Lucifer. But then also watch for the advancement of mankind. And keep all mortals free individually, because individually is how all lives must be lived.’”
And when you asked him if he didn’t find it strange that pictures of scantily clad women apparently led him to emphasize the need to avoid sin, he said “Stranger things have happened. But now let’s both shut up. I need to concentrate on my driving. Say, did I ever tell you that I dreamed once that years from now people will actually be able to talk on phones while they’re driving? I wonder if that won’t be distracting?"