Universe will explode

I now understand, I always controlled my destiny;
neglected myself purposefully, seems strange;
but this is all i know,pain,death, and betrayal ;
I subconsciously believed that love would never find me;
Always searched,but deep down;
had no confidence,in myself or the world;
Never seen true love, only evil administered through life;
was it real, or just a lie, meant to look, but never be found;
This needle, i can not find in the haystack;
Until one day, I discovered a way;
Burn that hay, to find my needle;
The day i found it, was a moment of unsure bliss;
Deepest pain, felt like a pinch;
compared to the aura she sang ;
Dismantled evil, with the light she illuminated;
I can not let this go, it is more then i ever hoped;
I will never let harm come to you; 
in fact, will not rest until you are satisfied ;
wipe your cries, with my skin;
Because I see, what you and the world are blind of;
Your tired weakened soul has taken the toll long enough;
No more, this is the end, over my dead body will you be unhappy;
This is bigger then me, this is how it must go;
otherwise the universe will explode;