From My Autobiography-- I Am Toad, Toady, The Toadess

         Another time I was workin’ the Ranch with Dad down near the creek. I saw somethin' like I’d never seen before. It was long, didn’t have any legs, not even a head, but it was slitherin' along the creek bank kinda fast. I just had to check it out. I ran down to the creek to get a closer look and all of a sudden one end of that thing turned into a gigantic mouth with sharp little teeth and bit right into my nose. Hurt like the dickens! I yelped and started rubbin’ my nose in the dirt, but it just kept on throbbin’. I started feelin’ hot and sick and real bad. Dad heard me and came runnin’ and looked real worried. 

     I don’t remember much after that 'cept that I woke up at home later and everythin' seemed to be okay. I wasn’t at the creek anymore and Dad looked like he felt a lot better too. To this day, I’ll never know what that mouth with a tail was and hope I never see it again. Dad called it a cottonmouth water moccasin, but I looked that up and the book said that moccasins were soft-soled Humans’ shoes, and this thing didn't look like any Human’s shoe I'd ever seen before. I did learn that when I was checkin’ out somethin’ strange, I had better keep a respectful distance away from it until I was certain it wasn’t gonna turn into somethin’ else that might hurt me.