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Love Stories the Relationships of Four Women

“Baby, you have no idea how much I needed to have you here tonight.”

Chinuwa turned around and looked at her, and she looked up to the sky. “

Thank you, Jesus!”

Chinuwa held on to Ling lee.

“I love you babe. You have been on my mind ever since you left me and it had a major affect on me. When Cat called, I was going through withdrawals. What have you done to me, Ling lee?”

Ling lee looked at Chinuwa. “That’s what I was wondering with you. I can’t sleep, I can barely eat. What are we going to do?”

“I don’t know babe. I just don’t know." A grin slowly appeared on Chinuwa’s face. "I do know what I want to do with you when I get you home. I have been waiting to get with you ever since I’ve seen you tonight.”

Ling lee backed away from Chinuwa. “Why wait?”

She started clearing the food off the counter and putting it in the fridge. She looked at Chinuwa and gave him a ravenous look.

Chinuwa chuckled. “No, babe . . . not on the counter. I have a lot of respect for the kitchen counter. That’s where I earn my bread and butter.”

“This-counter is not where you earn your bread and butter.”

Ling lee cleared one portion of the counter and then she jumped up on it and started

fingering Chinuwa to come to her. Chinuwa started toward Ling lee.

“Babe . . . babe . . . I can’t disrespect another man’s kitchen. I just can’t do it.”

When Chinuwa got close enough to her, Ling lee started pulling him down to her.

“What? I haven’t seen you for a few weeks and you’re turning me down?”

She attempted to pull Chinuwa down to her as she eased down on the counter, but her head came in contact with something.

When she sat up to see what it was she put her hand on the back of her head and felt something greasy and soft.

“What the . . .” Chinuwa started laughing. Ling lee looked behind and saw that she had put her head in some butter.

She grinned. “That’s payback for me disrespecting another man’s kitchen.”

Chinuwa laughed as he picked Ling lee up off the counter and sat her on the floor.

“Let’s get this kitchen in order so that we can leave. You need to go home so I can wash your hair.”

Ling lee looked at Chinuwa, “Oh-my-gosh, let’s hurry up.”

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Anna L. Walls on October 13, 2012 at 4:55am

A little wordy, and the scene was a little rushed. You have an opportunity here for some humor too and it seems to be missed. Slow down. Take this scene one step at a time, literally, and remember, lovers seldom use full names.

Permalink Reply by Cordelia Kirby Alexander on October 15, 2012 at 7:49pm

Thanks Anna for the feedback. I will take in consideration your comment about them using each others names. I've heard if there is only two people in the scene that names do not have to be used.

Anna L. Walls said:

A little wordy, and the scene was a little rushed. You have an opportunity here for some humor too and it seems to be missed. Slow down. Take this scene one step at a time, literally, and remember, lovers seldom use full names.

Permalink Reply by Anna L. Walls on October 15, 2012 at 10:25pm

If there's only two people in a scene, you don't need to use TAGS (he said, she said), but the use of names now and then will help your reader keep track of who is saying what. You don't want your reader to get lost in a three-page conversation.

Cordelia Kirby Alexander said:

Thanks Anna for the feedback. I will take in consideration your comment about them using each others names. I've heard if there is only two people in the scene that names do not have to be used.

Anna L. Walls said:

A little wordy, and the scene was a little rushed. You have an opportunity here for some humor too and it seems to be missed. Slow down. Take this scene one step at a time, literally, and remember, lovers seldom use full names.

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