Authors, Writers, Publishers, and Book Readers

Footsteps

Prologue:

Your glancing through my words as a shark treading water through blood filled waters, ready to bite through the lines and rip apart my meaning. Beware and tread carefully for these words may bite back.

A recycling rain that rests upon the crust of ache. a parched excuse in constant motion trying to find a seem, a reason for the dullness.

The moiture soothes but never heals in constant contrast yet a seeming beautiful dance of devotion.

Life sets a stage for acts and scenes that can seem rehearsed yet every action falls to the pit of your stomach like a ton of sand, folding in on itself never repeated never expected.

No matter how hard we try and how much we prepare we feel like it's opening night for someone elses play, some other life where we slowly drift away.

Unprepared we all swim and drown, like buoys in the ocean we constantly explore emotions and feelings, we base our research on failure and hope to concoct a cure for the next sample.

Relationships are just stepping stones to future commitments.

We are walking around with footsteps on the backs of our heads.

On my bruised head you will find the imprints of leather Khakis and high heels along with an assortment of sandles.

Perhaps when we are on our deathbed we grasp what it takes to live and love others.

Do we realize the impact each contact makes on us? Do you care?

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Robert L. Allen on October 5, 2011 at 8:29am

First sentence I'd take out (water through) thus making it:

Your glancing through my words as a shark treading blood filled waters,

I think the rest of the sentence take away from the first part, which makes it weak.

You use the word seem which means appear, are you wanting to use seam

Life sets a stage for acts and scenes (I think a stage has acts and film has scenes???) I could be wrong...

You have written prologue, but it sounds like a poem. In either case, the meaning is very powerful but the setup is confusing. I would not use the word seem so much find something stronger. Very, very powerful...

Permalink Reply by Birgitta Abimbola Heikka on October 8, 2011 at 12:34am

I like your warning before the poem but I think you needn't have done that because it was a nice poem. I really enjoyed reading it. I think some acts and scenes are rehearsed but not by the player. Sometimes our acts and scenes have been choreographed by someone else. That's my belief. Except one thing, on line 3, you had "moiture." I think you might have meant "moisture." Otherwise, it was a good poem.

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