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Monster in me
I hate my face
Take me to a different place
Please God, please
I wish I were never born
I feel like a thorn
In the sides of all I love
Or am I their glove
To be used
And abused
I hate this place
Where all eyes hate
What will be my fate?
All I see
Is the monster in me
All I see is someone who should die
But all I do is cry
Please God, please
Rid this world of me
And all that I have done
Will I never have a son,
Or can men see through my mask?
This is all I ask
Please God, please
If I’m not meant for life
Please take my strife
And have me never wake tomorrow
I hate all this sorrow
I wish I were dead
But all I am is in my bed
Sleeping safe while I dream
Of being more than I am
I wish I were more like Sam
My best friend, my sister of the soul
I wish I were in a h***
Where I could never hurt anyone again
I hate my words
It’s like I’m tripping on cords
I never say the right thing
Nor can I sing
I hate myself
And everyone around me
And yet I love them, can’t they see
That all I want is happiness
No more crappiness?
I love the girl I try to be
But she isn’t me
And I can never be her
I wish I could, but I can’t
And as I pant
Trying to keep the darkness inside
All I can do is hide
From all whom I love
And shove
Them into the light
And out of my sight
But why do they think the light is from me?
Why can’t they see
The monster inside me?
I hate that creature called Sonja
She hates me also
And won’t go!
Maybe I should be her
Let her kill me
But she’d better be sure
To let me be
After I’m gone
And let me dream
Of the good I’ve done
Not the bad that it seems
To be
In my daydreams so eschew
Let my life be new
please God, please
look after this monster inside of me.
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