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Little Sorrow

I made this poem in May, of this year, being 2009. Haha, umm...I hope you like it, cause I've seen everyone else's poems so far and they're a lot longer than mine...and happier, but, oh well, here we go:

There, though the trees,
Across the water and the sea,
Lies a scary old town,
On the south of lands unfound,
In which it's cold like no tomorrow,
I call it Little Sorrow.
No one ever blinks,
All the boats they had just sinked.
People die upon the streets
And no one cares about what's to eat.
Theres only one season in Little Sorrow,
It's the Black Winter, no other follows.
No trees exit here,
No green landscape far or near.
No thick clothes to sheild their skin,
No inner warmth within.
Nothing here, nothing there,
Nothing anywhere.
This place is Little Sorrow,
Where its cold like no tomorrow.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by scribbler on December 2, 2009 at 8:11pm

I like the name of the town very much Alex. Little Sorrow's a sad little town indeed. :) Can I make a suggestion? I know you're going for the rhyme here but sinked doesn't work too well as it isn't a word. You can on occasion get away with made up words. You don't need to here though when you can use sink instead of sinked.

No one ever blinks,
All the boats they had did sink

You paint a picture well with your poem. A few typos need changed and it's raring to go. :) Nice job!

Permalink Reply by Alex Davis on December 3, 2009 at 9:40pm

Yeah, i kinda doubted the sinked thing :)
Thanks

scribbler said:

I like the name of the town very much Alex. Little Sorrow's a sad little town indeed. :) Can I make a suggestion? I know you're going for the rhyme here but sinked doesn't work too well as it isn't a word. You can on occasion get away with made up words. You don't need to here though when you can use sink instead of sinked.

No one ever blinks,
All the boats they had did sink

You paint a picture well with your poem. A few typos need changed and it's raring to go. :) Nice job!

Permalink Reply by Kay Elizabeth on December 27, 2009 at 1:32am

Alex, that was just beautiful. It's so sorrowful a town! Does it remind you of a particular spot? To write about it so well you must have been there. I'm guessing. Have you been inspired by a place?

Permalink Reply by Viviana Arteaga on December 31, 2009 at 4:41am

Aww I saw the lil town in my head!!
I like very much!

Permalink Reply by Alex Davis on January 4, 2010 at 9:36pm

Haha, thanks, actually, no I haven't, it was a poem I did when I was about to go to sleep.

Kay Elizabeth said:

Alex, that was just beautiful. It's so sorrowful a town! Does it remind you of a particular spot? To write about it so well you must have been there. I'm guessing. Have you been inspired by a place?

Permalink Reply by Kay Elizabeth on January 5, 2010 at 12:46am

You know I get my best ideas when I'm dozing off. I'm sure it's because your mind has wound down enough to allow your subconscious room to play and be creative. I have to write it down then or I can't remember a glimmer of it by morning.

Alex Davis said:

Haha, thanks, actually, no I haven't, it was a poem I did when I was about to go to sleep.

Kay Elizabeth said:
Alex, that was just beautiful. It's so sorrowful a town! Does it remind you of a particular spot? To write about it so well you must have been there. I'm guessing. Have you been inspired by a place?

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