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Like the flow of this poem. And while kinda sad, i also took another view. Which was, because at one point she was happy and smiling, one could have faith that she would find the "smile" again. And i think she probably would.
Nice poem. However, some lines were longer than others. I know you wanted the rhythm but the second line of each couplet could have been made a little shorter to match the first. I always have that problem too. It's a good poem. I think your poems are lovely.
Thank you for your comment, Jonathon, and I think you're right about her finding her smile again. =)
I'd love it if you signed up to follow my poetry blog as I check it more frequently and always appreciate comments.
http://ferrells-follies.blogspot.com/
Jonathon Koerner said:
Like the flow of this poem. And while kinda sad, i also took another view. Which was, because at one point she was happy and smiling, one could have faith that she would find the "smile" again. And i think she probably would.
Hi Birgitta,
I appreciate your feedback and always take people's comments into consideration when revising my poetry. Did you, by chance, leave additional comments on my blog? Someone left a few more suggestions there, and I thought it might be you. =)
Please sign-up to follow my poetry. I always enjoy reading constructive comments.
http://ferrells-follies.blogspot.com/
Birgitta Abimbola Heikka said:
Nice poem. However, some lines were longer than others. I know you wanted the rhythm but the second line of each couplet could have been made a little shorter to match the first. I always have that problem too. It's a good poem. I think your poems are lovely.
I like your poem, a bit dark, maybe you were feeling dark? It is good.
In the new book "Glossy Eyes Be Frail" there is a long almost epic poem in there called "To Envy A Smile" and it is about finding a lost smile as well check it out here: Glossy eyes be frail
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