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'sleeping with wolfs'
by Fel
your sleeping with wolfs my dear,
soon they'll rip your throat
in tiny little pieces.
Crushing your bones, scartering them
like jigsaw puzzle.
Sooner or later your heart will
be of no use.
for you told, you told them your secrets,
and everything about your life.
poison words they'll reveal to you,
telling you corruption and negativity
that should help sink your soul.
you believe everything they say
but turn deaf ears and blind eyes to me.
All i do was only love you.
then stab me in the back,
then you join their pack.
Now your left with cold past of furrs,
all you do is annoy me with your
cry and hurts.
I warn you about those blood sucking
wolfs.
That just want to know about your human
life,
to turn it up and down, left and right.
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This poem was intriguing of which I can relate to its bitter love and betrayel. It is soul cutting.
I've read your poem and though at first read it seems a pleasant enough poem I feel that there are 'things' concealed from the ordinary reader. What might help is knowing the background to the poem? In its present state it is 'easy' . But to move it upwards to a higher level needs slight changes that only you can make. It appears slightly in need or re-structuring because the lines are different lengths in each verse. Is there a reason for that? Why is the final verse in red? Does red have a special meaning? Has blood been spilt and why?
I can not but help feeling I'm missing something that you want to share. Perhaps it is in the attachment called unsave.aspx. which I cannot open. Others might be able to open it but does it explain everything. I have no idea. And lastly will you publish this poem? I'm in favopur of people publishing because then they will soon know what writing is all about.
Best wishes
Cleveland W. Gibson
yes there is a reason for the lines being lengthy.....the final verse in red because the friendship is now broken and blood was spill. lastly i plan to publish it but don't know where to..
thank you
The poem is already published by being on-line. But I think you might want to publish in paper. That's a little harder to do because often you'll meet an editor who decides what to accept or reject. But it is not impossible. What you have to do is go through your poem and make it more meaningful.
thanks for the advice.... :)
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