Hilary Wreidt Thompson's Blog – December 2011 Archive (9)

I like the way you carry youself

l like the way you smile 

I like your shine and how you

hold your head up high

I love the way you laugh

 i envy your life

I'm so glad it is me 

I envy.

For jonathan

Hilary Wreidt Thompson

These prison bars...were not meant for me

not meant for this little girl

I look outside them

in shame and guilt ridden

these prison bars have become me, 

engulfed me and deadend me.

Oh, how I long for freedom,

for fresh air

to feel the wind blowing

in my hair

these prison bars.... they

have taken over me...my thoughts......my happiness my hope

my pride and my dreams.

These prison bars

\have also…

Dust....it collects

what else is there to say?

I don't know,

perhaps it is all the collected memories

of the past.

Hilary Wreidt Thompson

I roll them up

when I'm ready to fight

I wipe my nose on them when it has run from crying

Sometimes I use them

even to wipe away the tears

I raise them when I'm hot

Bring them down to my finger tips

when I am cold

These sleeves are useful

covering my scares from

acne, sunburn and the bruises

from abuse 

These sleeves are mine,

my protection, my armour

and my barriers.

Hilary Wreidt…

I  have hope

Hope to be free of discomfort

To live happily

To have less wants

I hope to laugh more

To be jolly, full of life

My hope is grand

It is a new begining

Hope is all I have.

Hilary Wreidt Thompson

From time to time

I think about my childhood

the foster home,

the weekend out with

Wilameana....my child social worker back then

the Franklin Zoo trips,

the tab soda..I used to drink

the chocolate milk I used to cry for,

my new family

meeting my new brothers

and visiting my new house

the excitement

and the sadness of missing mom

I think of the abuse

of my new mother

the absence of my only…

Every summer my mother would have the hard wood floors sanded, buffed and finely polished. Someone I can not recall would  remove the sofa. I remember it was by Jennifer furnishings, of light cream color with wide stripes covering its canvas, one stripe darker than the other. The strong wooden desk was moved along with the glass and brass and coffee table set and the small and large potted green plants. The rubber plant, I recall was placed on the back porch off the kitchen's sliding…

I shyd away from life at an earl age,

tucked away in a box

hidden far into the back of my 

childhood closet

now wanting so badly

to come forward and just holler

"I am here!", alive and not dead

like my beloved father

I miss him....so much

So watch me as I smile

hold my head up a little higher

I am that daughter of a great politician today,

but also a woman with a dynamic force of strength and hope

to…

Today I am a newer person than I was yesterday.

We really do only have that single moment that

we are actually in.

Let go of past hurts and upsets,

for they will merely hold one back from

enjoying the present.