A PASSIONATE DAD...Love, Fear and fame....

AFTER MIDNIGHT            CHAPTER 12

I was doing the dishes when Spencer, the waitress called me. “…some one wants to see you.”
   “If it’s not official, let the person come over here.” I told her and continued washing the cups. Next I heard sharp knocks of lady’s shoes. There came a lady. She was dressed in trousers, a white top and that was Stephanie! The woman who, my nightmare! I felt laziness in my mind and didn’t want to look at her. She stood a metre away without speaking.
   “What do you want?” I asked without looking at her. She advanced towards me.
“Please Perk,” she began. “Just a week with my son.” Her voice was soft and submissive. I stopped to wash and stood straight, hands akimbo. “Don’t think about it.”
   “But don’t you think my son misses me? He misses his mother.”
“Shut up. I know Perkins is happy and doesn’t miss you.”
   “He does but he can’t tell you. He does…”
   “Whatever you say, Perkins is not leaving me.”
   “Listen. He has only one mother. You can give him many things but you can’t give him my love…mother’s love.”
Suddenly the worst came to happen. Perkins abruptly appeared. He was from school. He stopped and looked puzzled. I was on one side and Stephanie on the other.
   “Perk,” she called with delight and a smiling face.
Perkins looked at her face then at me.
   “Perkins, my son,” she called politely in a begging and affectionate tone. He started to walk towards her but in fear.
   “Perkins, don’t!”
“Perkins, come to your mother, please...” she spread her hands welcomingly.
“Don’t listen to that b****.” I saw his face change. He wanted to cry. I had used a wrong word. Someday he had me promise him never to call his mother a b****. He turned suddenly and ran away leaving us. Stephanie was sobbing. I didn’t feel guilt of any thing. She left and I resumed doing my work.
Later I went to attend to Perkins in the store. He was sorting some vegetables. He looked at me once and continued sorting the spoilt vegetables from the good ones. I leaned back against the wall and watched him. His silence told me that he wasn’t in good moods.
   “Perk, are you mad at me?”
   “No.” There was dryness in his voice. “You have broken your promise, dad.”
   “Look, It’s because am so protective to you and she had talked of taking you. Am sorry.”
He stared at me. “Tell me son,” I added. “Would you leave me and go with your mother? Tell me: whom do you want to be with?” My voice got hard. He ran to me and clung on me with his hands a round me. “…dad I love you. Mum dumped me. It’s because I know there is only one mother for a person. It could be why at times I miss her. I see my friends with their mothers at school. It makes me sad.” My hand massaged his hair. I felt it but I was not moved.
“Hey you twins,” mum called from the kitchen. “Are you okay?” She asked.
“Yes…”
   “Then why do you waste time? I can see Junior you aren’t done with the vegetables. Senior, you have to do some deliveries, please.”
Junior rushed back to sort the vegetables. I had to make the deliveries.

In the van  i couldn’t help thinking about what my son had said. I could hear his small voice. It reminded me of my infancy years. The time I needed dad’s love but all I could witness was mum and dad quarrelling and fighting. I could now imagine the pain and feeling he gets. I was then convinced that he misses his mother. I returned home with a puppy for him.

I stopped nodding my head. My left hand softly pressed the stop button on the discman. I felt uncomfortable and emotional. I wanted to talk to mum and Junior but no way they sat so far from me. I pulled out a photo of mum and dad. Staring at it I wished, time could turn back – back to the days of old when am not yet born. It so hurt me often, the old photos of dad portrayed him as a handsome, loving and responsible man. I stared at the windows of the airplane, at the people and then slept.
     We landed at the airport in Texas at midday. It was a hot day. In the taxi, Junior and mum sat on the behind seat. Every time the taxi driver started a conversation, I turned him off. I didn’t want to talk to any one or listen to any music. I concluded by switching on the Discman.
Behind, I could hear mum and Junior singing amazing grace. How I wished they could stop the noise! My mind went to Zach, then to Mariza and finally to Stephanie, there I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think any more. Still the memories of Zach continued flowing in my mind. Has Zach changed? Has the jail changed him? What will he think of me? For a long time I had not written him, not even sending him a photo of my son, I wondered. It took us two hours to reach to the Prison by taxi.
    “Thank God. Your brother is out.” Mum announced.
Yes, he was in front of the gate but he had not seen the car because he faced the opposite side. We reached him suddenly. Mum moved out first, ran threw her hands lovingly over him. We moved out too. After mum I was next. He hugged me firmly. It was a hug of a man.
Zach had grown old and lost weight. The beard on him made him shabby. He was dressed in faded jeans and a grey T- shirt, Texas shoes as ever. He had a simple sports bag slung over his shoulder. Zach was glad and his eyes showed love for his family. Before he got in the taxi he asked about Mariza and Jacklyn. He was surprised learning that the little boy was my son. He loved him and carried him even while inside the taxi.
Even at the welcome dinner at home, I couldn’t keep my eyes off Zach. It was hard to tell if he’d changed or not. He spoke slowly as if every word cost him a thousand dollars.
“Many things: bad and good and evil are done in jail.” He said. I knew what he was talking about. Mariza, Andy and mum continued eating. I had paused. Once I had been jailed and I totally knew what the word evil meant.
    “A jail is another country. A country with strict orders, where you live deprived of freedom, justice…it’s like a school. You meet people, you are tormented and later you become a tormenter. There are things done to you without a choice.” He stopped speaking. His mouth was full of food. A horizontal wrinkle formed on his face. “I don’t know why it’s so. Father is in jail. Senior has been there and am from there - Can’t we be like other families?” There was tiredness and disgust in his strong voice. The word should have hurt mum to bone. She stopped forking the food. Andy put down the knife. Mariza stopped chewing. A little silence followed.
   “What are those evil and bad things you can’t mention? How can a prison be a school?” Junior asked with a confused face.
   “When you make eighteen I will answer your questions but pray that you never be jailed.” Zach continued,