Communication Skills - 8

KISS

The acronym and the word fits the theme of this series. Because that first kiss is a wonderful goal. To back up a few steps is where the oft used phrase comes into play. Usually related to speeches, I think it also can be used for asking for a date.

Be brief and be specific. This brings to mind post #2, the avoidance of rambling. Again, get in, say what needs to be said, get out.

Well, stay in if – when! Think positive – she says yes. Not too long, just long enough to nail down details (time to meet or an address at which to pick her up). If the answer is no – don't go into it thinking the worst, but if – I think a well wish for the rest of her day to be productive is fine, then get out.

“I have an extra ticket to the jazz concert this Friday evening at the Des Moines Social Club and was wondering if you'd like to join me.”

Simple. Brief. A few more words than, “Would you like to go out to dinner Friday night?” More words mean a greater chance of stuttering or a problem of mine: talking to fast. I'd have to practice (yes, we do this, ladies, and yes, it sounds silly. But we do.) to get the rhythm, the flow, the casual-ness to come through instead of sounding like I've rehearsed my opening line for a high school play.

I also think my question is more creative (specific) than the typical dinner line. It reminds me of a F.R.I.END.S. episode where Rachel wanted to ask out Joshua and she said she had two tickets to the Nicks game. Before she could include herself, he had assumed she was offering the tickets to him for being a good customer in her clothing department and he was going to take his male buddy. The next scene showed Rachel and Joey and she's saying the line, “I have an extra ticket...”

Anyway, back to the topic. My prospective lady doesn't have to know the Des Moines Social Club's jazz nights don't require tickets (of course this is ruined if she's just read this blog), but a slight deception isn't bad, is it? It's not that slight since lately there's a woman at the door announcing a $6 donation is requested, which sort of sounds like an admittance fee. No actual ticket, but…

Brief and specific. I thought of the jazz concert because: 1. I like jazz. 2. I think she's classy enough. 3. The venue is cozy. 4. The musicians play from 5:30-7:30 with a break after 45 minutes. 5. This is good because the break offers a chance to leave if desired to go to dinner.

Of course my creative mind thinks of romantic movie lines if her answer is no.

“Well,” I'd say, “I had to to start at the top.”

She'd cock her head. “What do you mean?”

I'd shrug. “Well, I'll have to lower my standards a whole lot finding another date.”

She'd smile and, impressed with my sincerity, changer her mind.

Can I write romance, or what? Ask me someday about the first couple, three dates.

Anyway, this post hasn't been too brief, but it has been specific.

What lines have you used when asking out your intended sweetheart?