Holding my breath

Ideal purpose of leaving me withno notice was to be more trusted by you to come straight back from awalk to the market but when I retured, you were absent/gone. Act of dolite not to hold on to these memories of paradise in my ownselfish way. Being stingy as alway. Im dying to know how my mom is doing everyday that pass by, with every second that tick away on the clock, as I watch it on the wall in the hallway. Its torcher on the holidays and vacation trips that I take out of town. Its like breathing with 1 last breathe, then the 2nd last breath, there I have a 3rd lasting breath, and still on a 4th ever lasting breath