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I have a visitor: JT Lewis
JT: Hello! This is JT Lewis coming to you from beautiful Southeast Indiana!
(Crickets chirping)
What?
(Dammit)
Ok….I know you all came here for my interview with Gabriel Celtic, but I just found out he has been called out of town on a big case. My ex assistant has just told me that Gabriel would try to call in from his current location…if he can!
(sigh)
Ok…ok! (sigh)…ok…actually this is very in character for Gabriel Celtic, who stays on a case like a bloodhound until he…um…solves the case! I believe we have him on the phone!
Gabriel!....Can you hear me? Oh, wait…since you are on a police matter…Can you read me?
(Crickets chirping)
Gabriel: “Who is this?”
JT: Hey! This is JT old buddy!
Gabriel: …JT?...JT who?
JT:...JT?…JT Lewis?…your writer?
Gabriel: (Silence)
Gabriel: Ohh…JT…my ghost writer!
JT: (Silence)
JT: Oh…(ahem) (blush) …ummm…yeah
Gabriel: How ya doing JT…listen…this must be some kind of mix-up…I thought I was calling Lenny’s for some Stromboli’s…I’m not sure how I got your number mixed up with Lenny’s…I better go and call the right number, we’re starving over here…nice talking to you JT!
JT: Wait!
Gabriel:....you say something JT?
JT: Um…you were supposed to be doing an interview with me today…for your fans?
Gabriel: (Silence)
Gabriel: Reeaaallyy….Abby! You know anything about an interview?
Gabriel: (Muffled conversation in the background)…with JT?...( muffled expletives in the background)…are you kidding me? (muffled cussing in the background)
Gabriel: (Silence)
Gabriel: Ok JT…I guess it was actually Abby that agreed that I would do the interview…but in her defense…she didn’t know this big case would come up…so…can we put this off?
JT: umm…(blush)…(whispers) Gabe…everybody is here, waiting to hear from you…
Gabe: JT!...I told you never to call me Gabe!
JT: But…but…
Gabriel: Here’s Abby…
(Silence)
Abby: Hello?
JT: (blushing) Hi Abby…JT here…I guess you have been elected to fill us in on Gabe’s…er…Gabriel’s exploits for the interview…
Abby: JT?...He.rrow…you wan me in.tro.vru?
JT: Abby? What’s with the Vietnamese accent? You don’t have a Vietnamese accent!
Abby: You no rike? You trub-oh too much, I not rike sis
JT:....ummm…I wrote that line…what is this?
Abby: I gro now…okray?…big Stromb…I mean….brig crew on crase…many many crews…no one can knowing diss one………………………………..cya!
(Click)
JT: big clue on case?...what clue? What? (mumbling from ex assistant in background)…What? She hung up!?!?!?
JT: (mumbled expletives and cursing)
JT: (Silence…whimpering?)
JT: (Throws phone across the studio)
JT: Bleep this! If he thinks he can bleeping get another bleeping ghost bleeping writer like bleepin me he can just bleep my bleeping rosy bleep and bleeping stick it where the bleeping sun don’t shine!
JT: BLEEP!!!!!!!
(door slams shut!)
Ex Assistant: hello?
(crickets chirping)
You can find and follow JT Lewis at the following links:
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