I myself Killed my Beautiful Lives!

I myself killed my beautiful live with my beloved mother and all innocent family members.

I must punish and penitent through hell mental suffers.

I destroy my beautiful family and its heavenly hopes by brutal and intra personal objectives to be happier.

I hurt my sinless and innocent mother which causes earlier death her.

I am a killer, I am a great brute, I am an enormous sinner, I beg all your abuse, insult, hate, and curse forever.

This was not an emotional and wrongful decision; rather it was my self suicide which can not be excuse by any of my brother & sister.

I could not contribute and participate at the very bad time of my two mother like sisters husbands time of expire.

Then why should all my back home dears remember me with honor rather hell prayer.

I am eligible and appropriate for suffers from all dangerous diseases’ with pain severe.

I can’t & could not afford any earthly privileges

For all my dear sons and daughters who are always rely and expects many things from their foolish and scentless flowers Zaman father.

It is evident and real that I deprive them, hearts break them, as a tender and green mind their.

God or Almighty Allah never forgive me, how much pray I say to her, because I am a brutal and cruel personal who can not be get these specials consider.

I don’t know, why Almighty Allah sent me here (Earth), who has no abilities to take any responsibilities and fulfill commitment by swear to mother and all other.

 There is a proverb goes that “All that glitters are not gold” and a scentless flower having no scent and beautiful odors to attracts and get close to any insects or beautiful hunter.

I am that stupid guy, who is a coward, good for nothing and talking too much and having no harmony between talks and out comer.

                        Hi & hello, all my back home dears, are you listening me? If listen, then accept my apology and pardon and save me to love all of you otherwise, wish and pray for my deaths to the God as a worse sinner to my mother.

Can you tell me guys, what are these as; I am suffering from the last 7 years for all earthly tangible and intangible happiness as beggar?

What does it mean by you, as “water, water, water, and water, everywhere water but not a single drop of water to drink?

Do you want to listen more about my miseries and sadness, then listen, by some one I am now outsmart guy, having no qualities, having so called education knowledge and a shameless personal depend on other as their personal server?

Presently I maintain three website of America and Canada’s as a registered powerful author, but to some one all my honored writings are f****** matter.

Rather his/her game playing, watching Hindi serials and songs are more valuable and important than my all writings and an author.

Really and honestly, tell me who am I or am I a good guy or bad guy, because still I am very confuse about my humanity and social manner?

Am I not a good husband? Am I not your good brother, Am I not a loving father of my all my back home kids as sons and daughters they are?

Can you tell me, why everyday night I am having dreams which are not normal but very thoughtful and spiritual to me as a dreamer?

Mother and Dulavy comes everyday night as something reminder.

I am hopeless, visionless, trackless, helpless, distress, depressed, and loveless over here and there. (Website: www.writer.com/authors/nzamans

Copyright Warns: Shikha only you and Qamruzzaman are empowered to read this poem (10% of my present life situations miseries) and not permitted to disclose this poem to any individual or person in my families, please try to obey this request. Because, I don’t want and like that anybody makes it a burning issue for their enjoyment and game playing.