I sneaked out while slowly closing the door. I did not want to wake up my roomates. The floor creaked with every step i took. Apparently, the wood was old enough. I walked toward the kitchen and opened up the backdoor. I carefully closed this door too and soon found myself outside. Midnight was really cold. I zipped my jacket and carefully stepped down the creaky steps. I look both sides before crossing the Resort Villa's street, for it is anything but normal to find a 16 year old outside his cabin in the middle of the night. My cabin was behind another cabin, separated by the street. My neighbor cabin was deserted, yet i ran out of fear, jumping the fence that separated that cabin with the beach area. My feet stepped on the cold sand. It felt so nice and good. I looked around again to see if anyone was watching me. I quickly ran across the palm trees to find myself just a few feet away from the sea. I closed my eyes, knowing no one was there, and joyfully heard the crashing sounds the waves made. I could feel and taste the salt in the air. It felt like magic. I digged my feet deeper into the sand. The coldness of it made me laugh. The waves kept crashing ashore. The sea looked dark and mysterious. So many things lived there. So many mysteries it held...
"I wasn't expecting someone else to be here."
I immediately turned and met a young boy, probably the same age as me, looking straight into the horizon.
"Isn't it amazing?" he said.
"Yes. Really beautiful."
We both stood in silent for a minute. Apparently, he liked to hear the crashing waves as much as i did.
"What brings you here?" he asked me.
"I rarely go to the beach," i said. "I really enjoy it at this hour."
I smiled and look straight into his eyes. "What brings you here?"
Staring at the horizon again, he said: "I got tired of hoping, tired of running and tired of fighting. I think i'm ready now."
His answer made no sense whatsoever.
"Do you believe in love at first sight?" he asked.
I must admit i blushed. Why was he asking me that? Although truth be told, he wasn't that bad. Pale skin, gorgeous green eyes, dirty blonde hair, well dressed...now that i remember him, he was a really handsome guy.
"I'm sorry," i said. "I'm not..."
"Gay?"
"Interested at the moment," i finished.
He laughed.
"That's ok. I wasn't talking about us anyway!"
"Oh!"
I felt like an idiot.
"I meant the sea."
I took a look at the gigantic, natural pool. The water still looked dark and the waves kept crashing.
"The first time i saw the sea, i fell in love with it," he said.
I gave him a funny look.
"I know. I sound stupid..."
"No! No! It's just funny!"
We both laughed.
"What are you up to for tommorrow?" i asked. "Maybe we can hang out."
"I would love that," he said. "But i'm afraid i can't."
"How come?"
"Because it's time."
"What do you mean?"
"You must leave," he said, almost in a whisper.
I gave him a worried look.
"What? Why?"
"Please just leave," he said.
He shook his head as if he were sleepy, rapidly closing and opening his eyes in order to stay awake.
"Is something wrong?" i asked. "Are you feeling ok?"
"I'm fine. It's probably just the pills doing. Please just leave."
"Are you crazy? I'm not leaving you like this. Where's your cabin located?"
"You don't understand," he said in a high pitch voice, shaking his head. "I want to be alone."
"What?"
"I NEED to be alone," he said right before a tear came rolling down his right cheek. "Please."
I hesitated really hard. However, the sight of him...who was i to question him? He was obviously going through some stuff, and if he wanted to be alone, then i was supposed to leave him alone.
"Sure," i said reluctantly. "I'll leave."
"Thank you," he said while whipping his face.
I smiled to him, turned around and slowly started to walk away.
"It's Sean, by the way," he said.
"See you, Sean," i said turning my head a bit around to see him for the last time.
"Take care," he told me before starting his own walk.
"You too," i said walking away.
Oh! If only i had known the irony in my words...
Sean committed suicide that night. Everytime i go to a beach now, I remember him. Sometimes i feel like it was my fault. That i could've saved him. I was definitely the last person he talked to. But then i remember his words. I remember his face expressions, his voice, his confidence...he was ready. No one, NO ONE, could've talked him out of it. He must have had his reasons, and i'm pretty sure they were not plain, dull ones. Sean stood alive in his favorite place right before dying. Not many people get a chance to do that. Somehow i know it did not feel painful for him. I know that for him, dying felt like coming home.
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