Authors, Writers, Publishers, and Book Readers

Poems and Pictures Game

Simple really how this works. To play along, write a poem about the image. :)

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Viviana Arteaga on September 22, 2009 at 1:49am

I'm at the end
of this bridge of contemplation
and I'm ready to jump into an ocean of inspiration
Nothing will stop my flow
I won't go under either
I've got my goal in mind
and I'm ready to jump
let me be lost in thought.

I dont know it think its weak but its the first thing that came to mind....

Permalink Reply by scribbler on September 22, 2009 at 4:36am

I don't think your poem is weak at all. A pat on the back to you, Viviana. "This bridge of contemplation" is very good. If you rethink any of it, please keep that line.

Viviana Arteaga said:

I'm at the end
of this bridge of contemplation
and I'm ready to jump into an ocean of inspiration
Nothing will stop my flow
I won't go under either
I've got my goal in mind
and I'm ready to jump
let me be lost in thought.

I dont know it think its weak but its the first thing that came to mind....

Permalink Reply by scribbler on September 22, 2009 at 5:03am

I'm oblivious to the bench's wooden splinters.
I cannot wrench my eyes from the viewfinder.
He slows, feet dragging like a petulant child
Yelling back at me how this time he means it
This champion manipulator, crisis faker
Loving all the tension, drama and noise
That every day he professes to hate.

Who needs TV with a husband like that?
All I'd wanted was a nice day out
And photos to remember it by
A return to when we were close.

The rain's tip tap murmurings
Mock and muddy my thoughts
Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Do it. Don't.
I clench my eyes shut fractionally before
The splash reaches my wind chilled ears.

Instinct protects me from the sight.
I protect the rest of my life.
I walk away.
And this time I mean it.

~ scribbler

(Now I just did this quick and I know I'll tweak it because I always do once I've slept on something. Suggestions are welcome!)

Thanks Kay for a good game. It would be nice to have more of these!

Permalink Reply by Viviana Arteaga on September 22, 2009 at 5:12am

Thank you Scribbler! I actually liked that line. Yours was amazing! I saw it happening as I read it!

Permalink Reply by Callie Leah on September 25, 2009 at 2:37am

What are you talking about? That poem was very, very, VERY strong! You have a real talent.

Viviana Arteaga said:

I'm at the end
of this bridge of contemplation
and I'm ready to jump into an ocean of inspiration
Nothing will stop my flow
I won't go under either
I've got my goal in mind
and I'm ready to jump
let me be lost in thought.

I dont know it think its weak but its the first thing that came to mind....

Permalink Reply by Viviana Arteaga on September 25, 2009 at 2:39am

Thank you Callie!

Permalink Reply by Callie Leah on September 25, 2009 at 3:16am

Sue

I've wronged my life in many ways
And I've done terrible things
My life is coming to an end
And I keep hearing bells ring
I hear them mock, "Times running out!"
I hear them scream, "It's true!"
But the one thing I remember most
Is the day I hurt my Sue
She was beautiful and kind
She was smart and lovely too
But I'll never forget how I hurt her
For I hurt myself too
At that moment she walks in
The lovely beauty she always was
I hear her whisper, "I forgive you"
And I know my life is done
My trip to heaven is short and sweet
I fear I'll go to hell
And then I hear the old Satin say,
"Nice work, You've done well"
And so I cry, "Enough!"
"I will be your slave no more!"
And then God forgives me
Then I stop feeling sore
In months to come I meet Sue
And in heven, now we dwell
We sit together in the clouds
As our love continues to swell

I'm sorry. This has nothing to do with the bridge, but it made me think of a man who was figuring out his life. I just thought it would be more centimental if he was on his death bed. I just got an idea and before I knew it, it was all written in pixels. Sorry, I didn't mean to be so off picture.

Permalink Reply by Viviana Arteaga on September 25, 2009 at 5:56am

It was really good, Callie! I liked it very much.

Permalink Reply by scribbler on September 29, 2009 at 6:10am

Viviana, thank you very much. :) I often do see it happening in my head too when I'm writing poetry. It's like a movie scene in slow-motion as each line comes to me.

Dang, now you all know how weird I am LOL. :)

What did you guys think of the "Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Do it. Don't." line? I was trying to put across that underneath it all she really did want him to do it even though on the surface she was saying don't. Honest answer time: Did that come across that way or not? I like to know what works and what doesn't. :)

Viviana Arteaga said:

Thank you Scribbler! I actually liked that line. Yours was amazing! I saw it happening as I read it!

Permalink Reply by scribbler on September 29, 2009 at 6:28am

There's nothing wrong with being off picture, Callie. The way I see it the pictures are supposed to inspire, not dictate. That image inspired you to write what you did. There's no right or wrong answers. The picture's there to spark creativity. I like the idea you found there and would like to ask a question. Nice job btw. :)

I noticed you write in rhyme. Does that come easy to you? I tried to write in rhyme before and could never find words to say what I wanted to using that technique. I felt I spent more time thinking about the rhyming words than the poem as a whole. I'm interested in whether you always write in that way or mix and match. I wasn't comfortable with doing that so I don't try. I know my limitations LOL. :)

Callie Leah Dewees said:

Sue
I've wronged my life in many ways And I've done terrible things
My life is coming to an end
And I keep hearing bells ring
I hear them mock, "Times running out!"
I hear them scream, "It's true!"
But the one thing I remember most
Is the day I hurt my Sue
She was beautiful and kind
She was smart and lovely too
But I'll never forget how I hurt her
For I hurt myself too
At that moment she walks in
The lovely beauty she always was
I hear her whisper, "I forgive you"
And I know my life is done
My trip to heaven is short and sweet
I fear I'll go to hell
And then I hear the old Satin say,
"Nice work, You've done well"
And so I cry, "Enough!"
"I will be your slave no more!"
And then God forgives me
Then I stop feeling sore
In months to come I meet Sue
And in heven, now we dwell
We sit together in the clouds
As our love continues to swell

I'm sorry. This has nothing to do with the bridge, but it made me think of a man who was figuring out his life. I just thought it would be more centimental if he was on his death bed. I just got an idea and before I knew it, it was all written in pixels. Sorry, I didn't mean to be so off picture.

Permalink Reply by Viviana Arteaga on September 29, 2009 at 7:32pm

It's something I'd actually say lol Just kidding! But I understood what you meant and yes it was a very good line. Ja ja don't worry I see it in a slow moving movie form too!

scribbler said:

Viviana, thank you very much. :) I often do see it happening in my head too when I'm writing poetry. It's like a movie scene in slow-motion as each line comes to me.

Dang, now you all know how weird I am LOL. :)

What did you guys think of the "Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Do it. Don't." line? I was trying to put across that underneath it all she really did want him to do it even though on the surface she was saying don't. Honest answer time: Did that come across that way or not? I like to know what works and what doesn't. :)

Viviana Arteaga said:
Thank you Scribbler! I actually liked that line. Yours was amazing! I saw it happening as I read it!

Permalink Reply by Cheryl on September 30, 2009 at 2:19am

Hey. So I wasn't going to post this 'cause reading your poems I can see we have some amazing talent on this board! But then I thought... who better to get some tips from? :-) ... same as everyone else... this is just a first draft. (it was supposed to be happy but erm...yeah they never go the way I plan! lol)

Mr Right

My Mr Right is waiting; I can see him on the peer.
Whenever he’s close I shiver, when he holds me it becomes clear.
My Mr Right is loving; To me he’ll always be true,
I can see in his eyes, He can’t tell any lies,
And it would kill him to make me feel blue.

My Mr Right is waiting; I watch as he looks at the sea.
When he kisses me I know he’s perfect, and we were meant to be.
My Mr Right is loving; I know he’ll never leave,
From the very first look, he had me hooked,
We have a love you could never perceive.

My Mr Right stopped waiting; I stare where he used to be.
I miss his kisses now, as I look at the vast empty sea.
My Mr Right is loving; another woman we knew,
I could see in those eyes, they were so full of lies,
He was bound to make me feel blue.

I knew he would leave…
From the very first look, he had me hooked,
We had a love he couldn’t perceive.