Why Is Love so confusing?

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Permalink Reply by Andrew Kunz on November 7, 2009 at 3:51am

I really wish I could give you an answer to this one, but I'm trying to find an answer for it myself.
I used to believe that everything happened for a reason, that our souls were drifting through an ocean of other souls and somewhere amongst these souls was one we were meant to be with, that we had some magnetic pull to and on our journey through that ocean we got snagged on other souls, whom we believed was the one, only to find out it was just an obstacle.
Now I'm not too sure about it all.

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Permalink Reply by Callie Leah on November 7, 2009 at 3:10pm

You know, I don't think anyone knows the answer to that. You might try asking your parents how many people they dated before they met, how many mistakes they made, and stuff like that. I've never even had a boyfriend before. I've had a few crushes before, but everyone does. Earlier this year, I had a crush on this one boy, who was sweet, smart, cute, and he wasn't one of those boys who thinks they're better than girls. He was perfect, and even though we're fourteen hours away, I still like him. I don't know if it's love or not. I guess love is just something that come when it comes. Nobody knows when, nobody knows how. It just comes. My dad's been married four times. Love just happens. Have you ever watched any of those lovey dovey movies? I've never really seen one, but I know the story of Phantom of the Opera. Christina loved the phantom, but she might have been under a spell. I don't remember, but whenever love scares you, just think about that.

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Permalink Reply by Kay Elizabeth on November 8, 2009 at 2:54am

Well, I'm much older than most of you guys but no wiser when it comes to love than I was in my teens. :) I never dated a lot when I was young. I met my ex-husband at 18 and my current husband at 35. That was all the dating I did LOL. I think when the time is right, you meet the right person whether you date two like me or 200. I feel the more you date, the more jaded you feel about the whole process.

Regarding age, my husband's almost ten years older than me. I don't notice the gap. Compatibility, mutual respect, good communication and liking each other as friends too as well as being in love - those all count. Being able to laugh together too also matters to me. Age comes secondary to all that.

As to ones that are taken, they are taken. There's no point in pining after one that is. While you're sobbing into your pillow over this soul mate, your perfect match could be right under your nose and you're too blinded by that person to see that. (And when I say "you" I'm speaking in general terms.)

You could always profess your true love to this attached person. Do you really want to have to face them if (and it's more like a WHEN if they are committed to a relationship) they reject you? Because that's the risk you take. What is said cannot be unsaid. And what if they say they're interested but won't break up with their current partner? Are you willing to have a relationship under those circumstances, to be the secret? The day may come when they aren't taken. You choose whether you want to wait. Think things through.

Destiny may play a hand in it. Nonetheless, we all have free will. Our actions or inaction will give Destiny a nudge. It just might not be in the direction you imagine.

Love has no rhyme or reason. That's the only sure thing I know about it. :)

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Permalink Reply by Andrew Kunz on November 8, 2009 at 4:23am

To be honest, I've never really been in a relationship with anyone, which some may say is pathetic as I'm 19, turning 20 in February; but I've gotten so tired of seeing everyone I know fall in love that I kind of gave up on trying to find it. I figured that if it happened it happened, if not... then I guess I'll stay single for a few more years.
What really gets me is that all my female friends say they "love" me, but of course they're all scattered across the globe and the probability of the two of us meeting up is so small I might as well not even bother making a probability graph for it. Of course, then God goes and throws this ridiculous pitch at me, bringing this... unimaginably perfect girl in every way of the word perfect, into my life, but won't let me have her. After... what? 3 years now, I finally convinced myself that I'm happy being friends with her. According to a few people that's what "true love" should be: Loving someone unconditionally regardless what happens in your lives. Over the course of those 3 years I've given her my complete undivided attention whenever she's needed it, given her a shoulder to cry on in a sense. I've done everything I can do from where I live in comparison to her, to make her happy, to see her smile. Doing that, not only for her, but for any of my friends, is the only thing that truly makes me happy.

Kay Elizabeth said:

Well, I'm much older than most of you guys but no wiser when it comes to love than I was in my teens. :) I never dated a lot when I was young. I met my ex-husband at 18 and my current husband at 35. That was all the dating I did LOL. I think when the time is right, you meet the right person whether you date two like me or 200. I feel the more you date, the more jaded you feel about the whole process.
Regarding age, my husband's almost ten years older than me. I don't notice the gap. Compatibility, mutual respect, good communication and liking each other as friends too as well as being in love - those all count. Being able to laugh together too also matters to me. Age comes secondary to all that. As to ones that are taken, they are taken. There's no point in pining after one that is. While you're sobbing into your pillow over this soul mate, your perfect match could be right under your nose and you're too blinded by that person to see that. (And when I say "you" I'm speaking in general terms.) You could always profess your true love to this attached person. Do you really want to have to face them if (and it's more like a WHEN if they are committed to a relationship) they reject you? Because that's the risk you take. What is said cannot be unsaid. And what if they say they're interested but won't break up with their current partner? Are you willing to have a relationship under those circumstances, to be the secret? The day may come when they aren't taken. You choose whether you want to wait. Think things through.

Destiny may play a hand in it. Nonetheless, we all have free will. Our actions or inaction will give Destiny a nudge. It just might not be in the direction you imagine.

Love has no rhyme or reason. That's the only sure thing I know about it. :)

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Permalink Reply by Callie Leah on November 8, 2009 at 5:29am

That reminds me of a book I've read. Have you read the Tales of Beetle the Bard, by J. K. Rowling? One of stories talks about a king who was tired of seeing people fall in love, bacause he thought they wer foolish because they devoted their lives to another person with no regard for themselves, so he used magic to lure his heart of out his chest so he would never fall in love. When people started talking about how they thought he was an evil creature because he had never fallen in love, he decided to marry, so he ordered the most beautiful girl in the kingdom to wed him. She was so beautiful, that every man who saw her fell in love with her. Every man except the king. During a feast, he decided to show her his heart, and she talked him into putting it back. Over time, his heart had become shriveled and grown hair, and when it was back inside, he instantly fell in love with the nameless maiden. He loved the feeling of love. He decided he wanted a normal heart now instead of a hairy one, so he stole the maiden's heart. After time, everyone grew worried, and when they found them, he was on the ground in the dongeon. The girl was lying dead on the floor and he had her heart in her hand. He tried to get his heart out again, but it didn't want to leave, so he cut it out. For a few seconds he had two hearts in his hands, then he fell dead over the girl. My point is, don't get tired of seeing people fall in love, and if you do, don't use magic to take your heart out, and if you do, don't put it back in.

Andrew Kunz said:

To be honest, I've never really been in a relationship with anyone, which some may say is pathetic as I'm 19, turning 20 in February; but I've gotten so tired of seeing everyone I know fall in love that I kind of gave up on trying to find it. I figured that if it happened it happened, if not... then I guess I'll stay single for a few more years.
What really gets me is that all my female friends say they "love" me, but of course they're all scattered across the globe and the probability of the two of us meeting up is so small I might as well not even bother making a probability graph for it. Of course, then God goes and throws this ridiculous pitch at me, bringing this... unimaginably perfect girl in every way of the word perfect, into my life, but won't let me have her. After... what? 3 years now, I finally convinced myself that I'm happy being friends with her. According to a few people that's what "true love" should be: Loving someone unconditionally regardless what happens in your lives. Over the course of those 3 years I've given her my complete undivided attention whenever she's needed it, given her a shoulder to cry on in a sense. I've done everything I can do from where I live in comparison to her, to make her happy, to see her smile. Doing that, not only for her, but for any of my friends, is the only thing that truly makes me happy.

Kay Elizabeth said:

Well, I'm much older than most of you guys but no wiser when it comes to love than I was in my teens. :) I never dated a lot when I was young. I met my ex-husband at 18 and my current husband at 35. That was all the dating I did LOL. I think when the time is right, you meet the right person whether you date two like me or 200. I feel the more you date, the more jaded you feel about the whole process.
Regarding age, my husband's almost ten years older than me. I don't notice the gap. Compatibility, mutual respect, good communication and liking each other as friends too as well as being in love - those all count. Being able to laugh together too also matters to me. Age comes secondary to all that. As to ones that are taken, they are taken. There's no point in pining after one that is. While you're sobbing into your pillow over this soul mate, your perfect match could be right under your nose and you're too blinded by that person to see that. (And when I say "you" I'm speaking in general terms.) You could always profess your true love to this attached person. Do you really want to have to face them if (and it's more like a WHEN if they are committed to a relationship) they reject you? Because that's the risk you take. What is said cannot be unsaid. And what if they say they're interested but won't break up with their current partner? Are you willing to have a relationship under those circumstances, to be the secret? The day may come when they aren't taken. You choose whether you want to wait. Think things through.

Destiny may play a hand in it. Nonetheless, we all have free will. Our actions or inaction will give Destiny a nudge. It just might not be in the direction you imagine.

Love has no rhyme or reason. That's the only sure thing I know about it. :)

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