Reflections

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Pink Asassin on June 1, 2011 at 10:34pm

This is very good Keith, the only changes I would suggest are some grammer stuff, and a couple miss spellings: The days fly by, and the months go fast

My body's telling me that youth is long past

It's not hard for anyone to see

I'm not quite the man I used to be

The bars, the bikes, the broken bones

Surrounded by people, yet always alone

Seems like a distant memory now

Survived it all, but not sure how

As I slow down, time marches on

Before I know it, another year's gone

I think of places I've wanted to see

Realizing my dreams weren't meant to be

My thoughts I turn from; regret, and saddness

Traveling that road could lead to madness

Not sure what's next at the end of this journey

Just hope I don't die strapped to a gurney

 

 

Just suggestions :) but I think you should keep at it, keep writing.

Permalink Reply by Keith Rice on June 2, 2011 at 1:55pm

Pink Asassin said:

This is very good Keith, the only changes I would suggest are some grammer stuff, and a couple miss spellings: The days fly by, and the months go fast

My body's telling me that youth is long past

It's not hard for anyone to see

I'm not quite the man I used to be

The bars, the bikes, the broken bones

Surrounded by people, yet always alone

Seems like a distant memory now

Survived it all, but not sure how

As I slow down, time marches on

Before I know it, another year's gone

I think of places I've wanted to see

Realizing my dreams weren't meant to be

My thoughts I turn from; regret, and saddness

Traveling that road could lead to madness

Not sure what's next at the end of this journey

Just hope I don't die strapped to a gurney

 

 

Just suggestions :) but I think you should keep at it, keep writing.

Permalink Reply by Keith Rice on June 2, 2011 at 2:19pm

I don't know how this site works.I'm an old man wo doesn't know anything about sites like this.I never know where what I write will pop up. I was trying to reply to Pink Asassin's comment, but all I did was repost it.I don't know how to undo what I did.Oops. I wonted to thank you for your help. I don't have spellcheck, and I've not written anything but my name and date for the last 30 years. I guess my grammer is a little worse than I thought.I'll try to be more careful. I appreciate your help. Please check out the revised version, and thanks.

Permalink Reply by Cleveland W. Gibson on June 13, 2011 at 12:19am

"The days fly by, and the months go fast

My body's telling me that youth is long past"

 

I like the poem.

Suggestion for the first two lines:

The days are slow, yet months are fast,

My body whispers 'youth is past.'

 

Best

Cleveland

Permalink Reply by Birgitta Abimbola Heikka on June 26, 2011 at 2:36pm

I think a lot of reflective people feel the way you feel when they reach a certain stage in their life.  Your poem mimicks my thoughts about my life at this particular stage.  It is a poem that anyone can relate to.  But, unfortunately, death is the end of the journey--not trying to put a damper on your spirit.