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devil in your eyes

I was about ready to go crazy when I wrote this poem, I have so many pent up feelings, like usual, only tonight was much worse. anyway, thank goodness for poetry, and it's calming affect. This one's a little biting, but I needed to vent, so, like it or not, here's my latest poem.

My fate never mattered

I’ll deal with that later

Selfish is what I don’t wish to be

Evil is the soul inside me

Perfecttion is what I must strive

If I wish to survive

In my own head

I’d rather be dead

But that would be selfish

I do what they ask

What is my next task?

I’ll be a good girl

Just don’t twirl

My life out of control

I’m a troll

Seaking to be angelic

With those eyes as my chritique

Maybe I’m selfish for my none existant suicide

I guess it’s time to decide

Live as the devil

The devil in your eyes

Or die an angel

And swallow your lies.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Robert L. Allen on September 21, 2011 at 8:26am

I love it. The line, I’d rather be dead, doesn't go with it. I'd try something else...You know, you don't have to use rhyme to make poetry beautiful. This piece is so powerful. I think it could be even stronger without the rhyming...

Permalink Reply by Carly Jean Montgomery-Wildermuth on September 21, 2011 at 12:55pm

That is amazing and extremly beautiful!

Amazing job!!!

Permalink Reply by Pink Asassin on September 24, 2011 at 4:34am

Thanks Carly, Robert. I make a lot of my poems none rhyming, the words just seemed to flow with my emotion at the time, which is why I rhymed it, but I'll take your suggestion, and see if I can make it into a none rhyming. Thanks for the input

Permalink Reply by Pink Asassin on September 30, 2011 at 8:37pm

Thank you David, that really means a lot :)
David McDonald said:

I have always used rythme in my work and all of my books, simply to allow the reader to be able to concentrate on the content and engage with it.

I like this piece a lot you have a nice style engaging and powerful.

Permalink Reply by Michael C Bliss on October 1, 2011 at 1:34am

nice job...remember that darkness exists so we may embrace the light.

Permalink Reply by Pink Asassin on October 1, 2011 at 4:26am

Poetry is how I can expell some of the overflowing darkness inside me so that I can enjoy things that bring light into my life more; may not make sence to everyone, but it works for me. :)

Michael C Bliss said: